The Cause Of Americas Obesity:

Let me speak if I may on a matter very near and dear to my heart, not that I claim to be an authoritative figure on the subject but I have been known as one who has "dabbled" in the battle of the bulge. With that said I would like to turn the attention of this post to why I believe America is obese.
A couple of months ago I was at the scout office doing some last minute shopping before I was to take the scout troop to camp for the week, everything seemed to be going fine until I happened upon a sign that sent me into a Jason Bournesque flashback of a time long long ago. You see to any normal person happening upon this sign it may have appeared very normal but for me as I looked at it the word "Husky" seared to the very center of my soul.
It was in my Bournesque flashback that I saw myself as a young fourth grade boy in a fine shopping establishment known in those days as "Bugle Boy." On that certain day I was there shopping for some new pants, we asked the salesperson if she could point us in the direction of the pants and as she turned around and looked at me she said, "Let me direct you to the Husky section."
We found some pants and were on our way but the damage had been done, in my poor pre-adolescent mind I was no longer the overweight, hipsanic looking, exercise induced asthmatic that I had been, I was now embolden with a new sense of confidence as a muscular, fit and "Husky" child. In the next leg of my journey I was taken to the playground at Park Oaks Elementary where I was rocking it in my new "Husky" sized Bugle Boy pants.
On that day as was typical on days when I looked like I had a little more confidence than usual some of the other kids on the playground decided that it was necessary to draw a little more attention that usual to the fact that I was quite overweight, or "A Big Fatty" as they chose to phrase it. Armed with a new sense of self I chose that it was time to make them aware that I, in fact, was not "A Big Fatty" but was actually Husky.
As the laughter rolled in, my bubble had been burst and I realized then that the people at Bugle Boy were liars and cowards, and that sadly enough there was no such thing as Husky, but just a nice way of calling impressionable children "Big Fatty's" without actually having to say it.
As I came to from my flashback I found myself drenched in a cold sweat in the parking lot of the BSA Store and I got in my car and drove home.
That day has haunted me in the months since and it is today that I must sadly announce that the good people from Bugle Boy and the BSA store are going to Hell. "Why are they going to Hell?" might you ask, well, for single handedly causing the obesity of Americas Youth. To the two of you that read this stand strong with me and let these and other establishments know that if peoples clothes are the size that they have to start charging extra for, it doesn't do them any good to make up a cute sugar coated name for it, the size should clearly be stated on the sign as it is, not size "Husky" but size "Time To Make Some Changes In Your Life."
I apologize if this journey through my life was painful for some of you, but let it be a lesson to you, dont fall for the lies and deception of "the man."

Costco Observation #2

So I have been a bad little blogger since our family vacation to King's Canyon but here is the next installment of the adventures of Nathan and Dashy. So I went to Costco the other day, which seems to be a weekly occurrence, weekly only because I dont work in Orem anymore, when I worked in Orem it was more of a daily occurrence but anyway while I was there I noticed that there is always a line when leaving Costco, and the holdup usually isnt even where the fine Costco employees stand to casually look over your basket as if they are Rainman and can instantaneously itemize and match every item in your basket and make sure it matches the items that you have paid for. The line seems to form far before that, the only reason I can think of is that people are there holding their receipts as they make the walk of shame wondering how in fact they were able to spend so much when they only went in there for one or two items. Here is my top ten things that I think of as I make the walk of shame, feel free to add your own.
1. $98? I only bought deodorant, formula and wipes.
2. $1.50 For a hot dog AND a drink, I totally stuck it to Costco on that one!
3. 10,000 Q-Tips, that should last Celiece a week or two.
4. Good Thing I can return all this crap.
5. I wonder why Costco keeps shortening their return policy?
6. Note To Self: Stop Coming To Costco Hungry.
7. I wonder if the free sample ladies can come home with me and set up their booths at various places throughout my house.
8. I love the smell of new tires.
9. I wonder if I could sneak something past the lady checking my receipt.
10. 23 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds until I can safely come back Costco.

Costco Observation #1

Now I'm cheap, trust me, but not even I am cheap enough to think that waiting in a 25-35 minute line is worth the few cents a gallon that you save by buying gasoline at Costco. Now am I guilty of pulling up to the pump in the wee hours of the morning when there was no line, perhaps. But to be honest I wasn't that impressed with the quality of gas, maybe I should have taken it back.

Moaning Myrtle, that Crazy Cat!

Ok, maybe not really, but it's Sunday afternoon and Parker is asleep and Celiece is busy reading Harry Potter, and since cant read I, I am going to just play on the computer. Whilst I am playing, I would like to rate Utah's Fox News at 10.

A couple of nights ago when the whole world, except me and Parker, were at various stores waiting until the magical 12 o'clock hour for the carts full of the new books of the boy wizard to be rolled to within their reach, I was left home to babysit. While I was here I was flipping through the three channels we have and came across a Fox News Anchor at one of the local stores interviewing people waiting in line who had dressed up as some of the characters of the book.

The broadcast went a little like this, the news anchor did a shoddy job of an intro telling where she was and what she was doing and then began to ask each of the people who they were dressed up as, at first I thought she was being cute in asking the kids who they were, but then she began to ask the adults and then had the nerve to say, "I wouldn't know, I dont read the books." Now I dont read the books either, but what she was really saying was, I'm too lazy to read, but then I'm also to lazy to sit and watch a movie as well."

I'm no huge Harry Potter fan but I'm not against sitting and watching a movie, I mean come on, can you work any less than sitting and watching a movie? I rate Fox News and that anchor with a Lame-DASH-OHHH! BTW, Celiece did get her copy, dont you worry.

One of the girls that was interviewed was dressed up as Moaning Myrtle. Again, I am no Harry Potter Connoisseur but I can spot a Moaning Myrtle from a mile away.

Thank You Chase Bank!

So as far as business banking is concerned I am leaving the hometown Nebo Credit Union and have moved on to bigger and better things at Chase Bank. Why the sudden change might you ask? Well you see it' quite simple, they gave me $250 just to set up an account. Here is how it all went down, my friend Dave Rasmussen has been doing a lot of banking with Chase and has told me about the benefits of banking there as opposed to banking elsewhere, he also told me that if I went and set up a business account that he would get a $50 refferal and I would get $50 as well.
So I was planning on switching over anyway but then one day about a week and a half ago another one of my friends called from Chase bank and told me that Eric, the Utah Valley Business banker was in the Provo branch with him and he had a coupon for $200 if I came and set up an account plus the $50, so of course I ran over and set up an account. Unfortunately for Dave he wont be getting the $50, my other friend is, sorry Dave.
But long story short I was able to get the account set up no problem and also found out that as far as online credit card processors go I was getting ripped off, I am currently using a company called Powerpay, but as it turns out Powerpay just uses chase bank as a processor so if anyone reading this is using anyone other than Chase for your online processing, stop and get an account setup with chase. And tell them I sent you ;). So this wasn't the funniest post but oh well, here is why I like Chase Bank:

• Excellent Online Banking Services
• Great Rates On Online Credit Card Processors
• Flat out Bribery to get you to switch to them.
• The Small Town Bank Feel with the financial backing of a big time bank
• From within your account you can switch your savings to a high yield savings account, like 3-4% which works out great for businesses like us who has an account full of other peoples money until the end of the month.
• They have foamy soap in the bathroom, I have grown to love foamy soap, it makes liquid soap feel like I am wiping my hands with lard.
  

To All You Bathers...

My boss let me post a blog post during my lunch break today, it was rather nice of him. But this just hit me as I was reminding my cousin to bathe before his date with a girl. After I had said it I thought to myself, "should I really be telling him to bathe?"

The more I thought about it my mind was turned to cooking and a new technique that Celiece has started using, when she cooks brown minute rice she will toss a couple of bullion cubes into the water first which in turn gives the rice a nice chickeny flavor.

Consider metaphorically with me if you will, lets say the bath water is the boiling water, your own filth, sweat, blood, tears, is the bullion, and you are the brown minute rice. After your bath do you really want to be left with a nice chickeny flavor? I think not.

In this post Baths in general get a rating of 80's simply because they feel so 80's.

The Final Nail In The Coffin

This Post is a partial explanation of why I no longer attend UVSC or any other accredited scholastic institution for that matter. Last spring our friends, Dave and Aubree Rasmussen and Celiece and I started playing tennis for fun/exercise in the evenings at the local high school. We played for fun and sometimes for money off and on throughout the spring and then summer rolled around, I had told Celiece that I was done with school but she lured me back to school for spring semester with the thought of an easy A and some easy money from financial aid by taking a tennis class (she worked for UVSC at the time so they would pretty much pay us to play tennis.) So like a sucker drawn to free money and the thought of finally being able to pay off my debts that I owed to dave for the games I had lost I agreed to take the class with her.

The class was an eight week crash course on the basics of playing tennis, easy enough you would think. So Celiece and I went together, having a pretty good time and going to most of the classes, due to her being pregnant and a family reunion we missed a couple of weeks, keep in mind we BOTH missed a couple of weeks.

Now throughout the term we both showed some improvement, not enough to actually admit to anyone that we had taken a class but we showed alright improvement, Celiece claims she made more improvement even though I went and played more throughout the duration of the class but this is the kicker and the scapegoat reason of why I no longer attend UVSC, when we finally got our grades, keep in mind Celiece has already graduated so grades dont really matter but I had a "rep" I needed to keep up, Celiece got an A and I got an A-, thats right, a friggen A-. So for this post I am going to rate a few things:

The Teacher: B- (Grade based on him being a nice guy, but sort of picking out the kids that were good and sticking with them)
My Tennis Skills: Bronze Star (Based off the fact that the Good Lord decided not to bless me with athletic ability but golly I try, boy do I try.
My Anger: 112 Degrees Celsius , (I lose my temper a lot when playing tennis, Dave thinks the only thing I learned in my class was how to throw my raquet.)
UVSC: Lame-O (enough said)